My Secret Interview With SecondLie

In early January, I saw a couple of tweets about something called which wikipedia describes as a Latvia-based social networking website where users can ask other users questions. The tweeters (twitterers?) were SL celebrities Strawberry Singh and SecondLie.

As a fan of both Ms. Singh and Mr. Lie, I took a look at this thing.

As they were both new accounts, neither of them had many questions yet so I decided to help them out and get them started. I sent each of them 3 or 4 questions. The questions are submitted anonymously. Later I checked back and saw a couple of my questions had been answered.

So, I asked a couple more. Then I sent them both the same question to compare their answers. Then I started thinking that Berry could make a nice blog post out of a collection of her questions and answers (even posed that to her as a question which she answered). Then I started thinking I could make a nice blog post out of asking them – and some other SL celebs on – the same questions and reprinting their different responses. So I kept sending the same questions to both of them. Then I noticed somebody else was doing the same thing! So I stopped. Then I found out you can’t search who has an account on unless you have one yourself, so it would be tough to find other SL celebs there. Then I noticed while SecondLie had answered a bunch of my questions, Strawberry had only answered a couple.

Then I pretty much forgot about the whole thing.

Having nothing better to do this morning, I went over to SecondLie’s page again to see what was new. I read some of his recent answers and had a few laughs. Then I sent him a couple more questions.

Then I started thinking about this blogpost. The title came to mind. Once that happened, I couldn’t really walk away. In order to do a little research, I opened an account on

Of course, I had to get permission from SecondLie to reprint his answers here. I didn’t have any other way to contact him, so I sent him another question via his page. When you have an account there, you can uncheck the Ask Anonymously button.

So with my name out there for all to see, I asked:

Hello SecondLie, I have asked a bunch of questions here since you started and have enjoyed your answers. Would it be okay with you if I took some of your answers to my questions and used them in a blog post about your page here?‎ Danko Whitfield

And SecondLie replied,

“Which were yours: the stupid ones, or the really stupid ones?”

Is that a yes? Hmmm. Not being sure whether to go forward or not, I submitted another “question” that went something like, “tempted to take that as a yes. don’t know how else to get in touch with you. so i guess mine were the really stupid ones.” I haven’t heard back at this writing. And the more I thought about his response above, the more it seemed like a yes. So until SecondLie’s lawyers contact me or cancels my new account…

…here is My Secret Interview With SecondLie – secret in the sense that at the time, he had no idea who was asking these questions. The order in which the questions appear here was my choice. Note: the references to LL’s CEO were made before the recent news. And, a content warning: SecondLie sometimes uses language and subject matter not previously seen on this blog.

Do you build anything in SL?

Yes. Resentment against the corporation that runs it.

Were you ever featured in the SL Pic of the Day?

No, but Rod Humble has nude photos of me in his wallet.

Did you ever work an inworld job in SL?

Yes. And you only left me a 5L tip on the nightstand, you cheap bastard.

what did you get for Christmas?

The flu.

how many people work at Linden Lab?

From the looks of things, not many. The rest of the staff appears to be kept busy making life a living hell for those few actual workers.

Who would be the perfect CEO for LL? Aside from yourself, of course.

I think the CEO position is meaningless to the customers at this point. What LL needs is an effective line of communications with its customers. The real question is: Is Peter Gray incompetent at his job, or is Rod Humble yanking his leash and gagging him from effectively organizing/managing/maintaining communications channels with the customers?

Where is M Linden now?

I don’t care, as long as he’s far, far away from Second Life

Are you a collector of anything?

Yes… notecards, textures, and things called “Object” that I should clean out of my inventory.

How many items in your inventory?

Almost 20,000. I need to clean stuff up.

What’s your favorite SL freebie?

The cypress tree in the Library. It’s actually quite good for 1LI.

Everyone says LL must lower tier for SL to survive. How much should they lower it?


whatever happened to the good old days?

They weren’t as good as you remember. Just better than now.

What’s your secret?

#7 from last week. You know, the passive-aggressive one about Plurk and drama and stores and all that stupid crap you see every week on SL Secrets.

Need more prims?

Nope. I need more attachment points.

Have you tried Oculus Rift?

No, but I’ve tried heroin. Same thing, right?

What’s your opinion of InWorldz, OSgrid, Kitely, etc?

If I’m going to waste my time on something as sordid and worthless as virtual worlds, I’m going to insist on paying too much for it! Second Life all the way!

What is your favorite kind of pie?

Chicken pot pie, of course.

Back in the day, where was your favorite place to camp for L$?

Right outside of Philip Linden’s office. He handed out condoms instead. Cheap jerk.

with Search so borked, how do you find anything in SL?

Since I only look for sex, I just log in with my alt.

What’s the best thing about the Marketplace?

The X in the corner of my browser window.

How many live performances are there in Second Life on an average day?

There is no such thing as an average day in Second Life.

Does SL have any good pizza?

Just the street pizza from Annmarie Otoole’s vehicles running people over.

How many Brianna’s are there in SL?

Far too many. We’ll be sending them to the camps soon.

favorite sim?

The sim on a stick that I keep in my jacket pocke- oh crap. I can’t find it.

are traffic numbers for real or can they be gamed?

Too much traffic, and you’re permanently lagged. Why would you want that?

is there any Mainland available?

Heck, is there any Mainland not available?

What’s the most romantic place in SL?

The cornfield.

How come I don’t crash as much as I used to?

Because you’re not in SL as much as you used to be?

can you break a hundred?

I can break the 300. Spartans are wimps.

is there a reason they limit how many groups you can have?

Because the messaging system is actually a kludge of the original permissions system. Every time you cross a border or region, the system checks your group list to see if you have permission to be there. The more groups you have, the more groups it needs to check. More network traffic, more lag, more crash potential.

The group limit is 42. Why 42? Why not 40 or 50?

42 is 40 in Base Stupid.

Have you ever used a female alt?

Yes. And I’ve used a male one, too. It was the best threesome I’ve ever had.

What was the first thing you built in SL?

An emotional firewall between me and you crazy fucks.

it has a nice beat and you can dance to it. what would you give it?


What’s the most important piece of intelligence the NSA gathered from its inworld agents?

The fact that nobody is auditing their expenses to keep them from wasting money on this stupid shit.

What do you predict will be LL’s crowning achievement in 2014?

LL has been a long progression of stepping on their own dicks. So, after stepping on prim dicks, flexiprim dicks, sculpty dicks, and mesh dicks, they are working hard on their own rigged liquid mesh dicks to step on.

Who is your favorite blogger in SL?

Honour. The rest pretty much suck.


Related links

Ask SecondLie

SecondLie on Twitter

Honour McMillan’s blog

About Danko Whitfield

writer, explorer of virtual worlds. semi-retired time traveler.
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